Road Closed.

The scene is this: we are driving down the highway , I am in the back seat with my brother. Dad and and mom in the front. We fly by a warning sign that says, "Road Construction Ahead". It is followed by another "Caution" sign, a couple "Detour" suggestions, and then finally the giant orange and white barricade with flashing yellow lights and a hugantic sign that says "ROAD CLOSED".

Dad slows the car down and says, "Hm. Wonder what that means."

It's not a question. 

He's not really looking for an answer.

He's just pondering.

By nature my dad is not a rebel. He is the very definition of coffee without cream. When he questions a department of transportation sign, he is not questioning authority. He does not think that rules don't apply to him. Nor is he looking for adventure outside of the stock market and a good round of golf.

He just honestly believes that there is no road that is truly impassible.

Regardless of the vehicle he is driving, the number of warning signs, or the complete lack of any other traffic, he is confident that he and his Oldsmobile Cutlas can make it.

I'd like to have that same confidence in my faith. That unswerving faith in God that regardless of the doubt, issues or barricades, I know that the road ahead is not really closed. Not for Him and therefor not for me.

ashes.

On my grandpa's farm (it really was as idyllic as it sounds) he had a burn pile. The common things of life would be burned, then he would gather the ashes into his wheelbarrow and spread them out over his garden. It was old school, but science backs it up. The potassium in the ashes benefitted the soil and therefor the plants. And my favorite: the strawberries.

Today God reminded me of that lesson from decades ago. How often I say, "I am burnt out". I feel as if I am a pile of ashes. Used and dry. Blowing around. No weight.

But even ashes are used to make life. Out of my burnt place He can grow things. 

If I let him gather up my ashes, He will re-invest me into something new. Something different. Something way cooler than a pile of ashes.

Things To Do List.

1. plan to be spontaneous.

2. wash down Advil PM with an espresso. evaluate effects

3. rally around something.

4. catch a cold. let it go.

5. sing a song of sixpence.

6. stop. smell flowers. go.

7. contemplate thinking.

8. run for president.

9. plan for cataclysmic event.

10. follow the leader.

stress relievers

ruffles

hot bath

looking at van gough's starry night

read isaiah chapter 10

listen to my daughter sing

listen to my son drum (seriously. stress reliever)

listen to my husband laugh

organize a closet

nap

plan a vacation

re-read letters from my mom

plan an escape

catalyst.

last week i was at a conference with 12,000 of my closest friends. it was held in an arena which is latin for: giant people bowl.

we had gotten excellent seats. front row. on the floor. near the sweat. during one session i went to the restroom. which involved walking up 70 steps. that's right- no restroom on the main floor. it was a 70 step hike to the mezzanine, which is latin for: only fools sit on the main floor.

at the end of my restroom break i waited at the top of the steps. the session was ending. and then it happened: the break. and 12,000 of my closest friends were headed up the steps right at me. i plastered myself against the wall as they began to pass. i remembered how much i loved my husband who was on the main floor and whom i would likely never see again.

my moment came. 2 incredibly large men joined me near the wall. they too wanted to descend to the bowl! i listened and waited. and when they saw a space in the onslaught of people they took it. they began walking against the current. and i, like a vapor, attached myself stealthily to them.

it was working! i was going to make it down the steps! i had successfully spirited myself into the wake of those brave leaders before me.

and... after 4 rows... they ducked into their seats... row 4... with 66 rows left to go... these giant men were gone like the vapor i had tried to be. and i stood facing a large amount of bowl people prepared to tackle me.

i ducked into their row. row 66. smiled as if i wasn't terrified. and waited out the storm.

note to self: if you're going to follow, know how far your leader is going.